The sounds of a crying elfling echoed throughout the trees of
Lórien.
Immediately, Rúmil shot out of the talan and down the tree,
heading
for the source of the noise.
A
moment later he was scooping a sobbing Orophin into his arms
and
trying to soothe the distraught elfling. Rúmil mentally
cursed
himself - he should have checked on his little brother before
now.
But he'd been trying to get Haldir out of his room - no easy
task as
the eldest of the three remained locked in his grief.
It
had been two years since their parents had been killed and their
lives had been shattered. But for Rúmil, there had not
even been time
to grieve. Haldir had fallen into a depression so deep that
Rúmil
feared he was fading and Orophin was still only a baby. This
had left
him with the task of holding his family together during this
most
difficult time.
He
had done his best – caring for Haldir and bringing up
Orophin as
best he could, while still trying to live up to his responsibilities
as a Guardian of the Wood. Though he had succeeded thus far,
the
strain had taken its toll on the young elf. Rúmil was
constantly
exhausted; he was pale and far skinnier than he should be. But
he
continued to ignore his own well-being, as he cared for his
little
family.
"Hush
now, don't cry." He whispered, as Orophin clung to him.
Rúmil
was eternally grateful that Orophin had recently started accepting
his comfort, instead of screaming endlessly for his nana. "Shhh,
what's wrong?"
"T-the other elflings said I couldn't p-play with them."
Orophin
sobbed. "They said I was an orphan. What's an orphan?"
Rúmil sighed and sat down, perching Orophin on his knee.
"An orphan is an elfling whose Ada and Nana have died."
He said
gently, not wanting to upset his brother further."
"Oh." Orophin mumbled, realising that he was indeed
an orphan. "But I
don't WANT to be!" He cried then, breaking out in fresh
sobs.
Rúmil held him close, rubbing his back soothingly.
"I know Oro, I know, neither do I. But you still have me
and Haldir."
"Haldir's boring." Orophin sniffled.
"Haldir isn't well, you know that." Rúmil chastised
his little
brother gently. "It's not his fault."
"He's still boring." Orophin muttered and Rúmil
had to smile.
"Aye, maybe he is!" He grinned, ruffling Orophin's
hair. "But we
should get back to him, yes? It is almost time for lunch!"
As most children do, Orophin brightened up at the mention of
food
and took Rúmil's hand as they climbed back up to the
talan, leaving
his older brother relieved that at least this crises was over.
*********************
Much
later that night, after Orophin and Haldir were both in bed,
Rúmil sat alone in the main room. It was getting late,
but he was too
tense to sleep. It had been a long day, Orophin's tears had
drained
him and Haldir had been particularly difficult, refusing to
go any
further than the bathroom and back.
Rúmil
was sorely tempted to have a glass of miruvor from the bottle
he kept in the cupboard, but he resisted, in fear that he would
start
to drink as habit. It would be all too easy to simply drown
his
troubles. No, the miruvor was to be saved until he was in a
better
mood.
Instead, he rose to make a cup of tea, hoping it would calm
his
frazzled nerves.
He
was just reaching for the herbs, when he heard a gentle knock
on
the talan door.
Curious as to who would be calling so late, he opened the door,
to
reveal one of Lord Celeborn's assistants.
The elf bowed politely. "Lord Celeborn requests your presence
at
once, Captain."
Rúmil sighed – could he get no peace? Still, a
summons from Lord
Celeborn could not be avoided.
"I cannot leave my brothers alone – will you stay
with them until I
return?" He asked the elf. The young ellon nodded.
"Lord Celeborn said you would wish that of me. My name
is Araondo."
Smiling slightly, Rúmil allowed Araondo into the talan.
"My thanks, Araondo. Haldir will not wake and Orophin is
unlikely to –
but if he should, tell him where I am and that I will be back
soon."
"I will do so, do not worry."
The ellon smiled in understanding and Rúmil left him
to it, know that
the sooner he saw Celeborn the sooner he could get back.
*********************
At
the knock on the door, Celeborn called out for Rúmil
to enter,
glad to be having this conversation at last. He had long been
worried
for Rúmil's welfare.
Rúmil
stepped inside the room and bowed. It was rare to be summoned
to see the Lord and Rúmil hoped he had not done anything
wrong.
"My Lord?" He asked softly.
Celeborn smiled. "Do not worry Rúmil, I only wish
to talk. Please,
sit." He indicated a chair and Rúmil sat down, looking
intently at
his Lord. Celeborn sat down next to him and began to speak.
"Tell me, how have you been, Rúmil?" He asked.
"I am well, my Lord," Rúmil replied, uncertain
as to where this was
going.
Celeborn raised an eyebrow. "I see. It is not too much
for you,
caring for your brothers and still guarding the borders?"
"N-no my Lord," The Galadhrim stuttered. Did Celeborn
think him
incompetent?
The Lord of Lórien put his hand on Rúmil's shoulder.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need help, Rúmil.
You have
done so much for your brothers, but I am worried about you.
When did
you last take rest? Real rest, which heals both body and spirit?"
"I – I rest, my Lord," Came the answer, though
both knew that was an
evasive reply.
Realising
that this conversation was unlikely to get him anywhere at
any time soon, Celeborn decided it was best to get right to
the
point.
"Some members of your patrol have come to see me about
you." He said.
At these words, Rúmil flushed red.
"My Lord, I assure you that I have not neglected my duties!"
He
protested, almost desperately.
Celeborn sighed. "That is not why they came to me. There
is no
question of your ability or dedication to duty. But they are
worried
about you, Rúmil. It is clear to all that you are over-stretching
yourself – no one can do as much as you do without being
adversely
affected. However, it seems you have not been listening to the
advice
of your friends and so they have come to me. They can not order
you
to rest – but I can. I am."
"But...
my Lord!" Rúmil started to protest, but Celeborn
grasped both
of his shoulders firmly.
"Rúmil. Your brothers have grieved. Orophin is young
and he moves on.
Haldir still needs time, but with love and help, he will return
to
us. But what of you? In all your care, have you taken time to
grieve
yourself? Rúmil, have you even cried?"
For a long moment there was silence as Rúmil fought an
internal
battle.
"No." He whispered at last. "I have not cried."
He hadn't even
dwelled on the loss all that much – focusing all his attention
on
Haldir and Orophin.
"You are allowed to." Celeborn said gently. "They
were your parents
as well."
Rúmil trembled slightly and Celeborn knew he was getting
through.
Carefully, he pushed a little further.
"Are you not angry at the orcs that stole them from you?"
Celeborn's
words were having more of an effect on Rúmil than he
cared
to admit. All the emotions he'd tucked away were resurfacing
and
threatening to overwhelm him. He shook, trying to hold back
the tide.
"Does it not sadden you that they were on the same patrol?"
The
Lórien Lord was determined to get Rúmil to admit
his feelings – only
then could he truly heal.
"Yes." Rúmil's voice was almost inaudible.
"Yes?" Celeborn queried, knowing that the damn was
about to burst.
"Yes.
Yes I'm angry!" Rúmil's voice rose suddenly and
he jumped
up. "I wanted to kill every orc I could find! I wanted
to get my
hands on whoever let them patrol together! Nana should not even
have
returned to duty so soon after Orophin was born! It should not
have
happened!"
Celeborn
remained quiet as Rúmil released all the pain and anger
of
the last two years, knowing how much he needed it.
"Everyone thinks I'm so strong, that I can do anything!
But I – I
can't! I can't be there all the time, I can't raise Orophin
while
caring for Haldir, I can't patrol when my brothers need me!"
He
didn't even notice as the first tears began to fall, trickling
softly
down his face. "I've tried, tried so hard! I want to be
there for
them, like Ada and Nana would have wanted! But I've failed!"
Rúmil
sat back down heavily, burying his face in his hands as he
began to cry in earnest. His shoulders shook with his sobs as
he
finally allowed himself to grieve after two long years.
Now Celeborn moved, pulling the young elf into a comforting
embrace.
Throwing dignity to the wind, Rúmil let himself be held
by his Lord,
finding in him the comfort his father would once have offered.
"There, that's better." Celeborn murmured as Rúmil
continued to
cry. "Let it all out."
He smiled slightly as Rúmil's face buried itself in his
shoulder, his
sobs wracking his slender frame.
At
last, Rúmil could cry no more. He stilled, as he slowly
became
aware of his surroundings again. He took long, deep breaths,
as he
took in what had just happened. Shame-faced, he looked to
Celeborn. "My Lord – I am so sorry! I do not know
what came over me!
I…"
With a rising of his hand, Celeborn cut him off.
"Rúmil, do not apologise. You *needed* to cry, to
let go of your
pain. I am glad I could help you. How do you feel now?"
"Better, my Lord," Rúmil admitted. "Lighter,
somehow."
"Good." Celeborn replied. "It will not end here
though – your
grieving has only just begun. But as you accept these emotions,
you
will find it easier to cope with them, which will be better
for both
you and your brothers. You are their strength right now, but
you can
only continue to be so if you take care of yourself. It will
not help
them if you fall apart."
Rúmil
knew that Celeborn spoke the truth. Already, things seemed
clearer, ideas of how to make things easier for them all popping
into
his mind.
"I know you are right, my Lord." He said. "I
– I thank you for what
you have done." He blushed, still embarrassed.
"Speak of it no more." Celeborn said. "I know
that I will not." His
words made Rúmil smile in relief – the young elf
was proud and would
certainly not want anyone to know that he had cried in his Lord's
arms.
"I appreciate it, My Lord." Rúmil smiled softly.
"But with your
permission, I will return to my brothers now. I have much to
think
about."
"Of course," Celeborn nodded in approval. "But
should you ever feel
the need to speak to me, know that my door is always open."
"I will remember." Rúmil promised. I hope you
will approve of the
changes I plan to make."
The Lord of Lórien smiled. "I am sure you will do
an excellent job,
but do not be afraid to ask for help."
At that, Rúmil actually laughed.
"I will not be! I have decided however, that Haldir can
help give
Orophin his lessons! It will be good for both of them and free
me up
some time!" The gleam in Rúmil's eyes was much more
like the Rúmil
that Celeborn remembered and he was pleased.
"That is an excellent idea! Do not let me keep you!"
Bowing
deeply, his eyes alight with possibilities, Rúmil bid
farewell
to his lord and left quickly, keen to implement his newfound
plans.
Things would be better now; there was no longer any doubt in
his
heart, thanks to the compassion of his Lord.
*********************
Exiting
the small side room, Galadriel came to stand beside Celeborn
and wrap her arms about his waist.
"He will heal now." She said; her voice hushed in
the quiet room.
"He simply needed to release his pain." Celeborn told
her. "I have
seen the like before – I knew what to do. It was little
effort to
ease his suffering."
Galadriel
smiled, gazing lovingly at her husband. "You are a true
Guardian of the Wood, my love."
Celeborn looked to the door that Rúmil had recently left
by. "They
guard the Woods, it is the least I can to do guard them. Is
it is my
duty, though it is no burden."
"I see." Galadriel replied. But what of your other
duties? To your
wife, for example."
The Lord grinned and kissed her lightly.
"I will fulfil those too, of course! I see no burden there
either!"
"Excellent!" She replied and then laughed as he swept
her off her
feet and carried her away.
All
was well again in the Golden Wood.
THE
END
