Chapter 2
He
remembered asking Arwen to take care of Estel and he had a fuzzy
memory of telling his friends he would miss them, but if there
had been anything after that, he wasn’t aware of it. He
had been consumed by darkness and then wrapped in a great light.
His next clear memory was finding himself in the Halls of Mandos.
That had been an interesting time. He’d been – understandably-
disorientated and had not really known what to expect. He soon
discovered that the halls, though light, airy and comfortable,
left one with a sense of unease and a feeling of not belonging.
Still, he’d been somewhat surprised when he’d been
moved on to Valinor after a scant five years. He’d expected
to be in Mandos’ Halls a lot longer – a few hundred
years at least. But Lord Mandos had seemed to want him to go
to Valinor much sooner that that and Legolas was not one to
complain. Besides, Valinor was much nicer than these halls,
he was sure.
The
beauty of Valinor was everything he’d ever expected and
more. Blue sky, green grass and perfectly formed trees that
made up vast forests where white deer ran. Around the forests
were the homes of many hundreds of elves, all linked to a path
that led to a shining silver city. The great city where many
of the greatest elves now resided. Legolas had only been there
once, when he had first arrived. They had offered him a home
there, but he had felt more comfortable in the Woods. Though
Sindarin by heritage, he was a wood-elf at heart and was most
at home in the forest. The cities of the Noldor were not for
him. His mother was the same and he was now residing in her
home built high in the trees.
On
the surface of it all, everything was perfect, but deep inside
him, the Prince was screaming. He felt trapped, caged. He had
been here seven years, but it felt like seven thousand. What
was worse though, was that he did not even understand why he
felt the way he did. He did not regret the actions that had
lead to his death, he had saved Gimli’s life and if he
had the chance to do it all again, he knew he would change nothing.
So why was he so angry? So unsettled? Why could he not feel
Valinor’s peace? No matter how hard he tried, he could
not find the answers to his questions and that only increased
his frustration.
So
lost in his thoughts was he, that he did not hear someone swiftly
climbing the tree he sat in and walking up to him. “Legolas?”
The newcomer questioned. When he received no reply he waved
his hand in the other’s face. “Legolas!” The
Prince turned and glared at the other elf.
“Go
away Haldir!” He snapped. “I wish to be alone.”
He turned his back on the Lorien Elf. Haldir was not put off
however and sat himself down on the branch near the Prince.
They sat in silence for a time until Legolas realised that Haldir
was not going to go away anytime soon. “What do you want?”
He asked irritably. Haldir sighed and reached out to grasp his
friend’s arm.
“I
want to know what is wrong Legolas. Everyone is worried about
you, especially your mother. You have been in Valinor for seven
years. You should have settled by now.” He broke off and
looked at the Prince.
“I’m
fine.” Said Legolas shortly. Haldir shook his head.
“No
you’re not. I’ve known you a long time mellon nin
and I have never known you to act like this. There is more here
than what you’ve told your mother. So,” –
And here he grinned- “Until you tell me what is wrong,
I am not going to leave your side!” Legolas visibly slumped.
He knew Haldir spoke the truth. He was never going to get any
peace until he’d told him everything. And who could say?
Maybe Haldir could actually help. He’d been dead longer,
maybe he knew how he was feeling. He turned slowly and looked
at the one-time March Warden.
“Very
well.” He sighed. “You win. I will tell you.”
He took a deep breath and began to speak. “Ever since
I died nothing has felt right. I do not know how to describe
it, but everything feels wrong. As if there was something I
was supposed to do before I left Middle-Earth.” His face
darkened. “I was not ready!” Haldir’s eyes
opened wide.
“And
I was?!” He exclaimed. “Legolas, no one wants to
die, but it happens sometimes, even to elves. You know that.
We all go through that feeling of incompletion. But you have
to move past it.” Legolas met his friend’s gaze
and held it.
“Tell
me Haldir,” He said softly. “Does it usually last
this long?” Haldir sighed.
“No.”
He replied. “I have never known it to last longer than
a few months. Perhaps there is something else that is effecting
you.” Legolas looked away then, not meeting his friend’s
eyes. “Legolas?” He prompted. Staring down at the
ground, Legolas muttered something that the Lorien elf couldn’t
quite hear. “What did you say?” He questioned.
“The sea longing.” Said Legolas quietly. It’s
still here Haldir, it hasn’t gone away.” Haldir
was stunned.
“How
can that be?! He cried. “The sea-longing is the call to
Valinor, now you are here, it should have been sated.”
“I
know.” Legolas replied. “But perhaps we were wrong.
Perhaps the sea-longing is about the journey, the journey that
was denied me. Or it could be because most elves sail soon after
feeling the sea’s call and I did not. I stayed for Aragorn.
Maybe it had an effect on me that I was unaware of.” He
shrugged. “I do not know. All I know for certain is that
the sea-longing still stirs within me. And….” He
trailed off.
“Yes?”
Haldir encouraged him.
“Something
else.” Legolas said. “A shadow in the back of my
mind. A feeling that something is terribly wrong in Middle-Earth.
I can’t explain it.” He put his head in his hands.
“I’m a mess Haldir. I don’t know what’s
going on anymore.” The March Warden edged slightly closer
to Legolas and wrapped a comforting arm around the Prince’s
shoulders.
“Try
not to worry Legolas.” He said gently. “We’ll
figure it out, I promise.” He smiled. But why don’t
we try to relax for a while? Lets go hunting.” Legolas
shrugged.
“Why
not?.” He said. “Perhaps it will help.” The
two elves jumped lightly from the tree and headed to the forest,
stopping at Legolas’ home to collect his weapons. As they
walked along, a thought struck Legolas. “You know.”
He said thoughtfully. “I went hunting the day I died.
I caught a deer, two partridge and a rabbit that day. He frowned.
I was really looking forward to dinner!” Haldir laughed.
“I
know the feeling!” He replied. “I was looking forward
to a really good nights sleep when I was killed!” He smiled.
“Dying really ruins your day, doesn’t it?!”
At that, Legolas actually grinned.
“It
certainly does!” Feeling more light-hearted than he had
done since coming to Valinor, Legolas went off to hunt some
deer, putting aside for the moment the worries in his mind.
Arwen
looked at Aragorn from the balcony of their rooms. The King
was wandering the gardens, pausing occasionally to stare at
the stars. A deep but familiar sorrow filled her heart. He did
that a lot these days. It had been nearly twelve years since
Legolas was killed, but Aragorn had never gotten over his friend’s
death. He always put on a good face for his people, but in reality,
his grief still ran as deep as it did the day his friend died.
Arwen
cast her mind back to that dreadful time twelve years ago. She
remembered how the days following Legolas’ death had been
sheer hell.
*Flashback*
“Estel?”
Arwen gently tried to call her husband’s attention to
her. Legolas had been dead for two days and in that time the
former ranger had not spoken at all. He had not even left his
room since placing his friend in the stone room of waiting where
all deceased royalty was prepared for the final journey. “Estel?”
She tried again. “Estel, Ada has come, our brothers too.
Won’t you come with me to greet them?” He looked
at her, his mind slowly processing her words.
“Ada?”
He said questioningly. His wife nodded, relived that he had
finally spoken, even if it was but a single word.
“Yes
and Elladan and Elrohir too. Come Estel, let us go and see them.”
Taking her husband’s arm, she gently guided him out of
the room.
They
walked a short way to the large open courtyard in the centre
of the palace. There, they could see Elrond and his sons waiting.
Elladan
saw his brother coming and ran to him. Throwing his arms around
the human, he held him tightly. “Oh Estel.” He whispered.
“I’m so sorry. We came as soon as we heard. I just
can’t believe it!” Unable to cope with his brother’s
emotions, Aragorn pulled away. Fresh tears pricked at his eyes
and he barely registered Elrond and Elrohir’s approach.
Elrohir stood to the side as Elrond went to his son. Placing
his hand under Estel’s chin, he gently forced the human
to look at him.
“Estel.”
Aragorn raised his eyes to look at his father, but he was unprepared
for what he found. The elf-lord had clearly been crying. Glancing
at his brothers he saw similar expressions of grief on them.
With something akin to shock he realised.
“It’s
not just me. I’m not the only one who’s going to
miss Legolas.” He swallowed hard and tried to speak. “Ada,
I – I – You came.” He stuttered. Elrond pulled
his son into his arms.
“Oh
Estel, of course. Legolas was loved by many, but to you, Elladan
and Elrohir he was as a brother. He was a part of our family
and his loss is a terrible tragedy. We had to come.” Aragorn
nodded and clung to Elrond.
“I
feel so lost.” He whispered. “I don’t know
what to do.”
“Shhh.”
Elrond soothed. “Try to relax. We will help you.”
They
had finally moved to Aragorn’s chambers. The King was
asleep, worn out by his grief. Arwen sat by the bed, her eyes
never leaving her husband. She had just explained to her father
and brothers the events surrounding Legolas’ death. It
had not been easy to speak of it, but she was glad for their
presence. She had felt very alone the past two days.
Elrond
looked sadly at his daughter as she finished the tragic story.
“And how fares Gimli?” He asked softly. Arwen shook
her head.
“Not
well Ada.” She said. “He blames himself for Legolas’
death. He has not left his chambers. He will take neither food
nor drink. The servants tell me he has almost destroyed his
room in his rage. I – I have not had chance to talk with
him.” Elrond nodded.
“It’s
all right Arwen. I will speak to him. You should get some rest
my Daughter. You look exhausted.” Indeed, Arwen had not
slept since the events of the previous two days. Despite her
grief, it had been left to her to make the necessary arrangements,
as Aragorn and Gimli had been all but useless. Elrond pressed
his daughter gently on to the bed. “Rest.” Elrond
said. “I will take care of everything.” Arwen nodded
and lay down, for once content to let her father take over.
As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.
With
a sad sigh, Elrond left the room and went to see to the grief-stricken
dwarf.
END
CHAPTER 2
Flashback
continues next chapter!
