Regret

I loved you, father. Everything I did was for you. We all followed you, all took the oath. But no one followed it with as much fervour as I. Despite your constant disapprovals, I never stopped trying to win your favour, to be the best of your sons.

I know you loved me, but still I could never live up to your expectations. Even after you died I still wanted to be the perfect son, in case we should one day meet again. I was relentless in my pursuit of the Silmarils and it led me into ruin. I became cold, corrupted. My actions were of such evil that even Huan, my most trusted companion, deserted me.

Now I am dead and doomed to spend eternity in Mandos’ Halls. Are you proud of me now, Father? Are you?

END